Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)

Summary
After Belle humiliates him while rejecting his marriage proposal, Gaston sulks at the fireplace within his tavern. To lift his spirits, LeFou and the villagers sing about how Gaston is good at basically everything and that he compares to no one. This manages to cheer him up. After the song, Maurice barges into the tavern, frantically seeking assistance to rescue Belle from the Beast. Believing he's lost his sanity upon dishing out such a seemingly implausible story, he is thrown out of the tavern. However, Gaston is inspired by Maurice's supposedly far-fetched tale to force Belle into marrying him and sings a reprise of the song with LeFou, to whom he explains his plan.

Lyrics
LaFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why! No one's slick as Gaston

No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly! Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on! LeFou and Chorus: No one's been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston! Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips! Chorus: No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston! Bimbettes:

For there's no one as burly and brawny

Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare

LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.

Gaston: That's right!

And every last inch of me's covered with hair!

Chorus: No one hits like Gaston

Matches wits like Gaston

LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!

Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Ev'ry morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size of a barge

Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston

Makes those beauts like Gaston

LeFou: Then goes tromping around

Wearing boots like Gaston!

Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

[Heard only in the soundtrack version]

Chorus:

Say it again!

Who's a man among men?

And then say it once more

Who's that hero next door?

Who's a super success?

Don't you know? Can't you guess?

Ask his fans and his five hangers-on

There's just one guy in town

Who's got all of it down...

LeFou: And his name's G-A-S... T...

G-A-S-T-E...

G-A-S-T-O... ohh, ow...

Chorus: GASTON!!!

[Heard only in the film version]

Chorus: My what a guy!

GASTON!